When they say smile in passing when your out shopping for your one person meal, they don’t realise why you’re sad, why its yet another bad day. they don’t know that by saying smile that they’ve sunk a dagger into you’re heart because you’re now reminded again how alone you are. You feel like swearing at them, but that’s not nice, it’s not their fault it’s not lady like. They don’t know what you’re going through, should you share, probably not you’ll just embarrass and upset them so what’s the point. Pain builds in your chest from the anxiety and it sits on your chest like a heavy weight. Every social outgoing is hard work and so tiring. It’s been six very very long months now since my sweetheart passed and it’s getting harder everyday. I’ll turn this into a song one day and like therapy I’ll sing the pain away. But not tonight, tonight I’ll wallow in self pity and start the week anew again tomorrow.